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FLASHDANCE
Natalee
Blagden
The
show we’ve been waiting for is finally here; Gosney and
Kallman’s
Chinatown
has its cast covered in feathers and flash, ready to enchant us
with their talents and charms. The troupe stopped traffic with
their big debut on New Year’s Eve at Hamilton House. Now, Miss
Amelia and the Chinatown Dolls say they’re taking private
bookings, bringing their highly anticipated burlesque performances
to special events around the city.
Renovations
of the 1930’s Buddhist temple that will house the club are
nearly complete and TALK got the low-down on when the doors will
open, and what patrons will find inside.
“Escapism!
That’s what we’re gonna offer, at Gosney and Kallman’s
Chinatown
,” Norman Gosney effuses, leaning in as he talks about the magic
of the place. “From the moment you walk through the door the
performance, the service, the ambiance, the drinks, everything is
to put you in a movie.”
Amelia,
wife and partner, chimes in. The two take turns speaking, often
interrupting, adding to, or repeating the other’s words. “This
is the most important time for people to have something to escape
to,” Amelia avers. “The last time that our culture had great
shows like this was during the Great Depression in
America
,”
Norman
adds.
What
the pair promises is “not the real Shanghai of the 30’s and
40’s,”
Norman
notes. “Everything you know about that period is mostly
mediated through old movies. So that’s what you fall in love
with. You fall in love with the craft of it.”
Inside
the club, you’ll find a glorious Victorian-style space seating
only 150 visitors, and “someone there for everyone to fall in
love with,”
Norman
says smoothly, turning on that host-of-the-show charm.
“We
were just over the moon about how great out chorus line is. It’s
very diverse,”
Norman
tells us. And it certainly sounds like it, with girls hailing from
Shanghai
,
Australia
,
Uzbekistan
,
America
,
Russia
, and
Brazil
. “None of them look alike. They’re completely different,”
Amelia reiterates.
A
night at Gosney and Kallman’s Chinatown will include at least
two shows, big full-chorus production numbers and solos of
singing, fire-dancing, belly dancing, and hilarious support from
“second and third bananas” – guys dressed in drag who
“show up in every act as spear carriers or comic characters or
whatever” Norman tells us.
We’re
also looking forward to: RMB 70 drinks, girls on stilts selling
hotdogs (so they can reach patrons in the boxes), and private
parties on the third floor. Amelia and Norman expect to draw a
varied crowd, sometimes studded with stars. Alanis Morrisette is
rumoured to be coming to the opening – set for early March.
TIPS
The
Art of the Tease
1)
Rig your odds. In the biz, they call it wearing a rig: bra,
panties, garters, coordinated, ideally in white, Amelia advises.
“Wearing really sexy underwear also makes you feel sexy.”
2)
Give a little, get a lot. “In technique,”
Norman
says, “it’s about a flash, a piece, a peek. Show him a little
bit before dinner. He’ll be thinking about it all night.”
3)
How to be cheeky. When selecting underwear for special occasions,
Amelia’s rule is: “You don’t want to see the whole bum,” a
la thong, “but you don’t want to see none of it.” Go for
“somewhere inbetween.” High cut bikini briefs lengthen the
leg. Don’t be afraid to show a little cheek.
4)
Moderate libations. “Don’t eat too much. Don’t drink too
much. Women lose their charm and men lose their ability.”
Whatever you do,
Norman
suggests: “Make it feel like you’re the only people there,
wherever you are.”
5)
Add value. Men, “here’s a tip – wash. Dress up. Make it
reciprocal,”
Norman
advises. “Things have the value that you invest in them. Gold is
a thing that you pull out of the filth. Love, special sex nights,
Valentine’s … It will die on the vine unless you invest in it,
unless you add value to it.”
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